Monday, 9 September 2013

Daybroken

In a move likely to upset the proletariat, the government has today outlined a five year plan to cull daily lifestyle and topical debate tv programmes. Under the proposals, which the government hopes to be roll out as soon as this autumn, big hitters such as Daybreak and The Wright Stuff could be off our television screens as early as Christmas. The reason for the cull, according to a senior Whitehall source, is due to the Prime Minister being left fuming after heeding advice from morning television that a certain food stuff definitely caused cancer only to discover the information was flawed.

" The P.M loved brussel sprouts" said a senior party Whip " he would eat them by the suitcase load but as soon as he found out they definitely caused cancer, they immediately went off  Number 10's shopping list. It caused a bit of embarrassment for the P.M at the party christmas do I can tell you, the P.M would make up all manner of excuses such as IBS or that he was currently  "anti- greens", which unfortunately was jumped on by the left wing press as an admission that his party were in favour of climate change. Thankfully a potential party scandal was quickly averted."



Could the sun soon be setting on Daybreak?

The government may have narrowly avoided one political scandal but they now seem to be heading headlong into another one. "It's outrageous" said one opposition  MP opposed to the plans; " Where am I going to get my unsubstantiated, ill informed opinions now? The Internet?" And his views were echoed by many MP's on both sides of the political fence.

But it's not just M.P's feeling aggrieved , Claire Davies of The Single Parents Alliance feels this could have have a detrimental effect on her members. " As single parents we have become accustomed to former reality tv stars turned parenting experts advising us on how bad we are at bringing up our kids. Who's going to keep us on our toes now? Without this level of continuous undermining I fear for the development of many children in this country"

And even in the corridors of political advice there is growing concern;" I think the Prime Minister is exerting his own personal grievance here and he could live to regret it " said Crem Waterston, director of political think tank Mow Teeve 8. "Shows like Daybreak speak to the average man in the street and if you take them away you're removing a political party's main mouth piece. All the responsibility will then fall on Jeremy Clarkson and to be fair he's got his hands full with Top Gear and Christmas book writing.

This motion is due be debated in the House of Commons next week